Tips for an Amicable Divorce / by Cassandra Hearn

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Divorce and child custody cases can truly bring out the worst in people.  These proceedings are fraught with emotion and people can feel hurt and betrayed.  Cases that start this way can often end in a costly legal battle that stretches on for a long time.  Luckily, it does not have to be this way, and in a growing number of cases, parties are able to come to an agreement without the expense and emotional heartache of a prolonged family court battle.  To have an amicable divorce, you and your spouse need to be on the same page as much as possible and really want to have an amicable divorce.  There are some ways to try to steer your case in that direction.

First, you will want to educate yourself as much as possible on the state of the law and the possibilities for your case.  You and your spouse will make the best decisions for your future if you know what is likely to happen if you went to court.  For example, if you start out wanting long-term spousal support but do research and realize that your short-term marriage probably does not make you a good candidate for this, you are less likely to get in a dispute with your spouse about that issue.

Next, you will want to explore the possibility of mediation with your spouse.  Mediation is a process by which you and your spouse can sit down with a neutral third-party and attempt to work out all or some of the issues in your divorce.  The process is overwhelmingly helpful to parties who need to parse out all of the issues, and can help you amicably settle your divorce without going to court.

Third is to try your best to put away your anger as much as possible.  Attempt to look at the divorce settlements and conversations with your soon-to-be-former spouse as a business transaction.  Leaving your emotions out of big decisions such as division of the marital residence or duration of spousal support will help to get to a conclusion without unnecessary anger or resentment. 

Finally, keep a clear goal in mind and remember that this process should not be rushed.  You and your spouse may need time to carefully consider and weigh your options.  Rushing your spouse into a decision will only lead to friction. 

Divorcing amicably can really help to speed the process, but you still should hire an experienced attorney to help you.  Call us today at 619-800-0384 and let us talk with you about your divorce and your options.